After 3 beers last night I woke up early with a dull
headache but full of energy and enthusiasm to get going on my scenic cycle up
the mountain ridge that defines the Thai border with Burma. My journal betrays
that maybe my energy and enthusiasm didn’t last the day out detailing one
simple line for “Day 21” – “HARD AS SHIT!”
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Another whitewashed
temple above Mae Sae |
The day started well enough as I hit the road, loaded with
snacks at 6:30am. I passed a line of monks silently collecting alms in the early
morning shadow of a temple containing a huge reclining Buddha. Turning left,
away from the river I headed uphill and circled round to another whitewashed temple
overlooking the city which I explored on foot until a military jeep full of
Thai soldiers pulled up to drop off a sole monk, presumably to open the temple
for the day. Leaving the temple behind, the narrow road went up, almost
straight up – quickly hitting first 15%, then 17% and finally 20%. Not only was
I weaving about on the constant switchbacks but I also had to deal with the
damp road, dodge increasingly large patches of slippery moss and avoid scary
looking hairy caterpillars suspended in in the middle of the road attached to overhanging
branches by their silk. These caterpillars looked like the type you didn’t want
to touch and sure enough when I collided with a couple later in the day they
produced some nasty skin irritation. As the road ramped up, I was also forced
to zig-zag across the road simply to maintain momentum and prevent me from
having to get off and walk. The morning was cool but the humidity oppressive,
in no time I was covered in sweat but doing my damnedest to enjoy myself.
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| Scary looking caterpillar, I'd find loads of the hanging from the trees |
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| Up into the clouds along the Burmese border |
After a few kilometres I hit the first military checkpoint
where a few guys leaped up from their slumber behind the barrier to quiz me on
where I was going in broken English. They pointlessly checked my passport as a
matter of routine and told me Tha Ton was 71km away (in fact much further) and
by sign language exclaimed how the road was very steep. I smiled back and
pointed onwards up the road, they laughed, handed back my passport, lifted the
barrier and waved me through onto the empty road – they clearly thought I was
mad! The road was eaten away by undergrowth at its edges with oppressive jungle
encroaching on both sides leaving a navigable section barely a car wide in the
middle. Up and up the road goes without a person or vehicle to be seen, the Burmese
border is on my right but I can’t see a thing as I climb through thick clouds
and dense jungle. Each ridge brings only brief relief in a short downhill
before revealing yet more steep switchbacks uphill. I’m waved through another
military checkpoint by smiling soldiers who had either been pre-warned or simply
think I’m too mad to be a risk. Emerging from the clouds I pass through a
tribal village causing a grandpa playing with his grandson on the road to leap
out his skin in shock, all I can do it smile whilst sweating some more and
continuing uphill.
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| Up & Up 30% grades, so steep I have to push my bike |
The road seems more used up here but it continues to rise at
20% and I’m forced to zig-zag across it; suddenly the road steepens some more
and I mistime a zag causing me to come to an abrupt halt. I’m forced to push
the bike uphill for the next few minutes at less Back on the bike, crazy
switchbacks and heavy tarmac make it really tough work. I’m following the ridge
up the mountain now, below me to my right Burmese mountains stretch into the
distance and it’s no longer difficult to imagine plenty of places to subtly
hide a few poppy fields and maintain a lawless backwater. Each gulley is
blocked by barbed wire, a vague attempt at maintaining the border; one of the
first people I encountered was a motorcyclist who came down a clearly visible
dirt track on the Burmese side, straight through a gap in the barbed wire and headed
onwards down the Thai border road. Further along I surprise an guy fiddling
with the barbed wire in one of the many gulleys but don’t hang around to ask
what he’s up to.
The road seems more used up here but it continues to rise at
20% and I’m forced to zig-zag across it; suddenly the road steepens some more
and I mistime a zag causing me to come to an abrupt halt. I’m forced to push
the bike uphill for the next few minutes at less than 2mph as the road steepens
to 25 or 30%, too slow for my speedo to register. Back on the bike, crazy
switchbacks and heavy tarmac make it really tough work. I’m following the ridge
up the mountain now, below me to my right Burmese mountains stretch into the
distance and it’s no longer difficult to imagine plenty of places to subtly
hide a few poppy fields and maintain a lawless backwater. Each gulley is
blocked by barbed wire, a vague attempt at maintaining the border; one of the
first people I encountered was a motorcyclist who came down a clearly visible
dirt track on the Burmese side, straight through a gap in the barbed wire and headed
onwards down the Thai border road. Further along I surprise an guy fiddling
with the barbed wire in one of the many gulleys but don’t hang around to ask
what he’s up to.
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| Even Trevor needed a rest on these hills - it took 3 hours to get 12 miles to the top |
Further
up I literally climb – pushing the bike ahead of me, up to another hill tribe
village of thatch houses perched on the Thai side of the ridge, clinging to
steep, almost vertical slopes, overlooking the pan flat valley 1,000m below –
the same valley I’d have been cycling through had I taken the main road! The
view is absolutely stunning but by this point I’m questioning whether it’s
worth the effort (of course it was) and take yet another break to allow some
sweat to evaporate from my drenched shirt. Past the village the ridge finally
turns into a long false flat creeping further uphill through pine forests on
both sides of the border.
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Burmese military position on the peak of the mountain,
with Motte & Bailey style defences |
Finally I’m waved through the final military
checkpoint by some bored looking soldiers and spot the mountain peak identified
by two military checkpoints. The first, on the Burmese side, flies the Myanmar
flag from what looks like a Motte and Bailey style fortress where soldiers can
be heard scurrying around behind the lines of wooden stakes. The second,
slightly higher is the Thai post commanding a panoramic view over the
surrounding mountains stretching out as far as the eye can see into Burma. Surprisingly,
half the military post is open to the public as a garden complete with bunkers
painted green like the perfectly manicured lawns and well-tended flowerbeds.
Pill-boxes and trenches look down on the Burmese post and its surrounding
mountains and surprisingly the soldiers are happy for me to take as many
pictures as I like.
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| Thai military position overlooking Burma and their military post |
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| Bunkers overlooking Burma |
It’s taken me over 3 hours to cycle 12 miles up to the top
of the ridge, during that time I’ve hit 2 hairy caterpillars, walked my bike
maybe a mile, gained over 3,000 ft on the bike and probably another 1000+ft
pushing it. Finally I’m rewarded with a short run downhill to the Doi Tung
Royal Arboretum where I find a bus-load of Thai tourists arriving from the
valley below for an escorted walk around the gardens. I decide to take a break
myself and spend a little time wandering round the gardens on my own. Several
enticing viewpoints are blocked by the trees themselves but all the same the
gardens are stunning.
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| Doi Tung Royal Arboretum |
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Map of the back roads to Doi Tung telling motorists to avoid all
the roads I'm riding on as they're too steep and winding |
Heading on downhill the damp road plummets through tight
switchbacks and the encroaching slippery moss returns forcing me to keep hard
on the brakes. Various breaks in the thick overhanging canopy reveal stunning
views down deep forested valleys. I manage to find my way past a temple,
through several unsigned road junctions and onto the Doi Tung Royal Complex – a
picturesque getaway from the heat of Chiang Mai perched high in the lush
mountains with vast tourist facilities alongside the royal palace and gardens.
It feels strange eating lunch in a modern cafeteria but I was starving so I
inhale my lunch despite the chicken I was promised as mild being hot as hell.
Inspecting the tourist driving map outside I find that I’ve been riding all the
“steep, curved” roads, where driving is not advised due to their dangerous
nature, further my onward route follow more of the same…
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| Steep roads headed towards Doi Maesong |
Resigned to my fate, I plunge down the road to Doi
(Mountain) Maesong, but what goes down at 20% grades, goes back up at 20 %
after the tiny scenic bridge over a gurgling stream. The road here is good and
I’m able to ride fast and aggressive downhill, but up the other side it’s so
steep I’m back to walking in a couple of places. The road finally flattens out
and the forest turns to expansive farmland; with the sun beating down I decide
to take a “shortcut” to avoid climbing another mountain (Doi Maesong).
Everything starts promisingly with 3km on flat as the road follows the river,
but I’m forced to trust to fate as the highway markers have been painted over
suggesting that even if I am on the right road it’s been downgraded to an
unmaintained back road. Over the river, the road bucks up again and I’m almost
in tears as the surface begins to break up making the steep 2,000ft climb incredibly
energy sapping. Over the top the road drops steeply into a deep, stunning
valley revealing tiny villages and gold-topped stupas glinting in the late
afternoon sunlight. I’m too tired to brake hard and instead trust my instinct
to guide me round the tight switchbacks over rough, rock strewn tarmac. My
instinct doesn’t let me down but suddenly I’m forced to break as the road comes
to an abrupt halt at what looks like a main road full of neatly uniformed
school children ferrying back from school. I pause at a military checkpoint
conveniently placed at the T-junction to check that this road is the one I want
and after 5 minutes of maps, hand signals and forlorn attempts to pronounce Tha
Ton, I think I’ve found the right road and head on west.
It’s taken me most of the day to get 40 miles, but I’m
finally on the main road, any other day this road would have felt like tough
rolling terrain in sweltering heat, but today it feels like a cruisy lap of
honour as I ride slowly into Tha Ton along a small river as the sun sets behind
steep slopes to the right. The last of the day’s sun slants across rice paddies
in the plains and glints off golden stupas and statues on the slopes above Tha
Ton where some of the 9 levels of the Wat Tha Ton are clearly visible from the
road. Despite such a long day, my adventures are not quite over, I check into a
hotel recommended by Laura (the touring cyclist I’d met in Mae Sae) which
proclaims to have a pool, which is of course empty, but does have some
attractive and cheap thatch rooms. I’m too tired and hungry to dine anywhere
else and wolf down a tasty green thai curry. An old English guy called Steve
talks at me for a while – proclaiming his way of life, hitching from
town-to-town, picking up the odd manual job here and there but frequently getting
money by scamming foreign tourists or relying on handouts from Thai tourists.
He’d been doing this for 10 years and to be honest made me feel distinctly
uneasy, fortunately he headed off to bed ready to get up early and hitch out of
town.
Finally, I get “lucky” when the hotel owner presents me with
a bowl of scrunched up papers, I pull out one marked “lucky” and I’m rewarded
with a free 40 minute massage, just when I’d rather go to sleep. Feeling it
rude to say no I end up spending the next hour being pummelled on a bed by a
tiny Thai guy who first asked me to replace my clothes with a towel before
spraying me all over with oil… I think it was all above board but it did get a
little uncomfortable as he worked out the tightness in my groin and he was very
enthused by my big muscles proclaiming he’d be happy to work on them some more
as they were so tight after all my cycling as I headed off to bed alone.
The day had been epic, I’d only cycled 70 miles but had
climbed 8,900ft on the bike plus maybe 1,000 or more walking, it could have
easily been my first 10,000ft day and almost all of that was within the first
40 miles! My average speed was dragged up to 8.9mph by the rolling 30 miles
into Tha Ton, without which it would have been much lower, and didn’t include
maybe a mile of walking at less than 2mph.
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| Looking down on Tha Ton in the early morning |
The next day my legs didn’t feel too bad, maybe the massage
was good for them, but my neck was sore after he’d ricked it the night before.
Even so, I couldn’t face the 3km walk up the 9 levels of the Wat Tha Ton and
stopped at level 3 or 4 in front of a huge white Buddha with views over the
rice paddies below coated in a thin cloud slowly burning off in the morning sun.
The promised big climbs on my map failed to materialise and I cruised along the
flat valley between steep mountains at 16-17mph enjoying the ease of flat
riding after what felt like days in the mountains (it was one day). As the
towns get bigger there’s little to bother stopping for other than a small
roadside market where I find an awesome lunch of pork in gravy followed by
bananas for dessert. I get a few smiles and thumbs up from passing motorbikes
and packed out trailers but it’s largely uneventful as the stunning scenery
largely passes me by. I could probably have cruised onto Chiang Mai but instead
stop at Doi Chung around 1:30pm and stay at Mon & Kurt’s where the road up
to the Doi Chung caves runs off the main road.
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| Flat roads into Doi Chung |
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Beautiful fish ponds fed by the waters flowing
out of the Chiang Dao caves |
The cave entrance sits at the
base of the huge Doi Chung mountain range surrounded by temples and lakes
filled with huge carp and bright blue water filtered through the limestone
rock. The caves themselves penetrate 10-14km into the mountain and used to be
inhabited by now legendary hermits. I pick up a guide from the local village
who brings along her own flickering gas lamp; she takes me through a series of
vast caverns connected by tiny holes I’m forced to crawl through. Each rock
formation has a name according to its vague likeness, my guide reels off 10s of
them as if we were walking round a nature park. Bats squeak above our heads and
I’m glad to see that their crap must be cleared up by somebody. My guide also
points out that we’re frequently walking on a river bed and once the wet season
gets in full flow the water will rise to the water marks several feet up the tunnel
walls. Heading towards a dead end a couple of guides converse in Thai and look
uneasy, the reason, it appears is a snake that I catch a glimpse of as we pass,
however, on our return it’s out in the open much closer to the path. Of course,
I stop to take a photo, just as the snake starts slivering towards the narrow
gap leading back to safety – my guide panics and leaps through the gap, taking
the lamp with her just as my flash captures the moment and I’m left scrambling
for the gap as my light fades into the distance. Fortunately the snake wasn’t
that fast.
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| Chiang Dao Caves - I was guided around by a lovely local women with a flashlight |
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| The snake that scared off my guide, the only one with a flashlight... |
Back at Mon & Kurt’s Farangs come and go, attracted by
the great food (burger recommended), cold beer and ex-pat chat. During the
course of the evening I meet a friendly Aussie on a rented motorbike from
Chiang Mai, a quiet Russian couple, a young Philippian English teacher and an
older, colonially minded, English couple who again talk at me for almost an
hour without listening to, or expecting, a word coming the other way – seems to
be a particular ex-pat trait which is not very appealing.
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| You better take notice of animals on the road in Thailand |
Day
23 is my last day cycling with purpose in a year away from home. I can’t help
but get up early and get going despite it only being 45 miles to Chiang Mai.
Again the road is relatively flat following the river along the valley
surrounded by steep mountains. I pass elephant parks without stopping, the
choreographed “elephant show” didn’t really appeal and anyway I was too early.
Just up the road there’s a sign warning you to watch out for ELEPHANTS on the
road, that certainly beats kangaroos, koala and deer.
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| And sure enough there's an elephant just round the corner |
It seems crazy but a few
hundred metres further along I spot an elephant chilling out next to the river,
calmly swinging its head from side to side. As I get closer to Chiang Mai the
road gets progressively busier, trucks, cars and motorbikes kick up dust &
fumes and noise invades my ears making me feel slightly sick. Motos and bikes
are all over the road meaning it’s pretty safe to ride, some of the motos are
even slower than me on the flat. At Mae Rim I duck of the main road onto the
road up the shallow Mae Sa valley – almost the garden, theme park and adventure
centre for Chiang Mai.
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| Sharing a coffee with a butterfly |
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| Lovely orchids in the gardens around the Mae Sa valley |
I stop next to the Tiger Kingdom but decline to go in
once I realise it’s just a photo opportunity with tame caged tigers – not ideal.
All the “wildlife” centres along the valley have a similar circus show theme so
I also avoid the moneys, snakes & alligators. Instead I duck off to a
coffee shop next to a lagoon and chill out in the shade as a butterfly settles
on my notebook, presumably sucking up any salts it can get. I take another
break in the pleasant Samnaiphung Orchid Farm around the corner. It’s laid out
for huge tour groups, but the sales reps doze at their counters as I peacefully
wander around the lines of commercially grown orchids and delightful gardens.
I head further up the valley and pass X-Sports ATV centres,
luxury resorts and finally find the Mae Sa Waterfalls National Park – 10 stepped
waterfalls up a steep path alongside the river. Each has its own character and
in a few there are large pools you can swim in. It’s sweaty work getting to the
top of the falls so I’m happy to dive into the fresh water and bury my head in
the falls on my way back down. It’s hot, humid and I’m tired by the time I
leave the falls so I opt out of the longer Samoeng Loop and instead head back
down the valley back to the main road into Chiang Mai. The main road’s very
busy but I’m comfortable bombing along the moto lane, keeping my speed up to
stay with the flow of the traffic.
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| Mae Sa waterfalls, 10 levels in a steamy national park |
Riding into the centre of Chiang Mai is surprisingly simple
as I quickly happen on the moat and wall surrounding the old city, crossing the
moat and in through the wall my Asian cycle is at an end, just over 1,000 miles
after it started. Over the course of which I’ve cycled up the equivalent of Mt
Everest 2.7 times in near 100% humidity and temperatures of up to 35 or 40
degrees. It was tough, tougher than anything I’ve cycled before, but looking
back a few weeks later the pain fades away but the amazing experiences remain.
It’s hard to envisage what comes next but I started with a few days chilling
out in Chiang Mai & Singapore.
